i can't believe i will end up in a lan shop....yeap..a lan shop..u heard me....

it is like the least likely place i will appear at all...hhaaaaa...yeap..eddie wans to come over here todae to relax...need to compromise tho i dun realli like it....he pei me go kbox and outings dat he doesn't like oso...

is weird dat i always write emo stuff in livejournal..maybe is more personal ba....i realli feel i change a lot in terms of my singin perspective.alot alot..i admit..i used to be arrogant in away..n feel dat everythin is easy..i cfm can sing ok and all...but i duno why..i lost a lot of confidence when it comes to seriopus siging..i felt like i lost my magic...watched joy luck club recently and thr is this scene that kinda strikes me...one of the young girls who used to be real gd in chess lost her magic after she sort of given up herself....i tink i did in some pt of time...i can;t recall when....mayb is aft the last competition...my whole confidence level drops...read some bks recently..helped a lil..but not entirely...i tried to stand up and be confident in class todae...yeapppp...and i tried toive up oso...yes..im scared to face the reality..i admit that..i scare thaat ppl will laugh at me...im scared that thr will be more negative comments...the worst thing dat i scare to hear is my singing sucks.....im no good animore....i kinda feel dat im more or less not a person without talent..except able to sing a little...is not like super pro or wad...but is not entirely bad either....

is soo weird dat when i go for classes nw..i feel god damit demoralised aft dat.....and the tot of gg to singing cls mk mii scared....veri veri scared...i dun wana lose it..it seems to be like my onli talent....is pathetic but at lkeast is still counted as one...i realli have to let it go....i noe thr is a voice stuck in my throat when i tried singing..i noe i can b beta.....i have to enjoy singing like wad i used to...to sing when im happy..to sing when im sad and angry..i no longer do dat a lot...most of the time i juz listen and listen...mayb im gettin lazy and all....i dun wana hv my confidence sucked away..is scary....

thr is a lot of r/s problems gg on among my friends recently....worried for most of them..i feel dat they can be in a beta r/s...but like wad the nk taught me..i can't change what a person thinks....u can try talking but nv realli change..im nt yet a powerful enuff person to do dat yet....hopefully me n ed r/s can last all the way...thr r still a lot to learn and compromise..esp doin things dat he like but i dun like or vice versa....

urggggggh...i realli wana be a stronger person...dun wana emo most of the time...look at things postively...change all my bad habits...be a happiuer person...be determined and strive on to get rid of my negave thoughts...realli hv to jiayou on dat!!!!!!!!!!!

super long nv really blog here.....

haha..is always when my blogger gt some weird weird problems....hahhaaaaaaa..ok..im being unfair to lj...heheeeee

aniwae..had a bit of shopping therapy yest..wif mama n xuannie..was realli shuang..realli shop till i drop..n bought qte a few stuff oso...jhehee..super happy!!!!!!

feelin real emo....

wwas feelin real stressed out!!!!!! is not dat im a lot behind schedule or wad..in fact..im qte ahead...juz kip being veri strict wif myself. ba....i juz wana finish everythin asap...i guess tis is mayb the wrong way of doin things...have to pace everythin out...urgggggghhhh....im doin sth extra for ed's bdae..but apparently..it may not be wrking out very well..is qte demoralising actuali...i wan eddie to be happy...hopefully i can ba....

it seems like sometimes ppl r realli realistic...they dun give a damn bout real gan qing...some may even like flater u for a while when u r in the lead or doin qte well...tis is realli superficial...feel sad for tis kinda ppl who duno hw to treasure real r/s or friendships.....i wana be true to myself n to to others...but i guess its hard sometimes..u will think the other party is oso selfish and nt true...n so why i shd be gd to the person.....im nt realli the super goodie shoes ba....is like as u grow older...u become more n more shallow...n fake...n no longer tian zhen....u will feel dat ppl ard u r no longer realli dat sincere...esp when i grow older n older...ppl may tend to underappreciate u...they just tk u for granted...tinking u r just someone nt impt..nt cool..juz someone thr for me to throw tings on...like a servant....is realli veri disgusting lor......

i miss the old days a lot!!!!! when everyone seem to be ture to themselves n others....im glad i still hv a few true friends.....is nt a large number...but i will cherish them a lot in my heart....

feel real gd aft i vent out everythin here........

 havent been lj-ing for some time le...hahaaa...

sooo mani tings happen recently.. ...yeap...is not dat im in a real bad shape or sth....

guess im pms-ing..having mood swings and bad temper....singin is nt too gd for me...nid to train up....hv to wrk on my own feelins towards ppl..tons n tons of stuff to mug...

i have to wrk extra hard....!!!!!!!!!!!!

tis is saddening....

i tink im losing a lot of confidence in my singin le...real loads....

i dunno y..mayb im too busy or too tired....haven realli been singin....juz listening...

the partywolrd ktv singin competition looks niceee...but i feel dat im nt up to it....cuz competitions all look for the same ting dat i dun hv....i did tried..but mayb nt hard enuff....

im restless le ma....mayb ba....

i nid to get motivated somehw or rather....tis is bad...

hmmm...haven been lj-ing for some time....shall write sth since im free for nw...

seriously feel it is impt to be honest and trust ur loved ones....and to self-disclose....i feel dat mi n ed can tok more de....but both of us r busy sia....we mus jiayou sia.....communication is realli impt and the onli ting dat push the r/s to go on.....we shall continue to tok our inner tots out...n i wil put in more effort..i noe ed has been giving a lot to me...not monetary but emotionally and in actions...dats more impt..action speaks louder than words...

i hv to remain calm and nt let stuff affect me too easily....juz stand strong on my stand....n believe wad i shd....n nt doubt it anymore...cuz is noe is true....jiayou to me le!!!!!!

recently i love quiet spots..places dat has lesser ppl....i kinda feel more tired at crowded places.....quiet pubs....quiet restaurants..or coffeeplaces...wif nice barcelona music....i tink it calms ppl down and mk one's mind clear..dat is real relaxation to me....

ahhahaaa...am i gettin older or wad?????..perhaps...

is a weird dae todae...everyone seems to be pissed bout sth....mom is pissed cuz we wanted to help her to type her temple stuff but delayed slightly...den she went all angry scolding us saying that we did not help her..but in fact we wanted to....

xuannie is pissed bout parents spending too much time in temple..sometimes...we do felt that they r obsessed abt it....i can c why xuan dun like temple...is nt dat the temple is bad..guess is hw the ppl inside manage it ba....n it kinda cause our family to get into disputes sometimes....

i hate fights in families...when everyone get into madness and lost all rationale....is scary....to c my mom screaming n 2 eyes dat is staring so hard at me.....i guess is hard..is realli hard...we nid time to calm down

im in a weird mood todae...surprisingly im in a indifferent or shd i sae calm mood..nth affects me..i had tis cannot be bothered mood todae....i guess im jus tired of everythin sometimes....

aniwaee..i didnt noe that they r still some ppl reading my blogs...thanks mel for wad u sae...hehheeeeee....beat up whoever who bully me huh....hehheheee....

i guess sometimes is realli impt to juz shut my own mouth up....and let ppl juz vent out wad they wana do...it seems that being quiet and obedient is the best policy anywhr....noone will nt be bothered by u..sometimes invisible is a gd ting....

a lot of  tots running thru my mind..i nid a quiet place to quieten down my inner tots...everythin seems messy recently....my mood and attitude and things ard me....

a quiet place would be nice for me nw....

went to temple todae....hmm..i hv to sae is kinda boring....ed is tryin so hard to keep awake...appreciate u to come todae..noe u r super tired de...thanks...

i njoyed my dae anyway...ed came over....n we jus the spent the whole afternoon lazing ard....lying ard n chattin...ya..n correcting ed's singin...hhahaha....i love it like tis...simple and nice....

the weather is sooo humid todae...rite aft ed left..i juz felt like slpin...woke up feelin funni....

tml is another sch dae..monday blues...gt so much shows to watch...corner with love and antm..hehehheeeee

shall put up some recent outings wif ed b4 he went indo...

at some dessert shop



duirng cny..at chun dao he pan...ed tryin to act cool...



tea chapter


quiet ambience....



our game..white vs black


pic of us......hehehhehe



todae!!!!!!

hmm..why does blogger has to stop wrking again on my com...feel super sian diao..

anyway..tis few daes has been qte fun....

yest mi n ah xuan finalli bought our new fones..im soooo sick of my old fone dat has soo lil space n functions......i love my new one...i tink is call 7373 or sth...pics r super clear..mp3 player is thr.can finalli ipload songs i like to my fone..yeah!!!!!!!im soo happy..hahahah...thanks mommy!!!!!

todae mornin went sing k wif sammie n xuan at suntec..we had qte some fun..singin duets n super old songs..we went central to hang out aft dat...im sure the place will b qte a buzz aft all the shops has been open...thr r nice food thr n nice places to shop.....

sammie and xuannie


seriously singin...xuan is cold..lol


the rainbow shop that sells nice cards n envelopes


food...jap desserts..the looked realli nice


for once..choco looked tempting for me



went off to changi airport aft dat..yeap...ed is coming back....greedy us went to had a bite at delifrance b4 we waited for him...was qte worried at first...tot i mrb the wrong flight number n everythin..we waited for super long..till all the luggages r out n thr r no more other ppl else le...super depressed for the moment...tot i could nt fetch ed....wanted to find help...den hui n xuan suddenly sae...is edwin lei jie...im like....great!!!!!nice to c him again...misss him a lot....gd to c him safe n sound....aniwae...paiseh for toubling some of the company  ppl-yuzhen n jarrel..was kinda worried for ed cuz he didnt sms mi at all...thanks a lot!!!

went to eat at terminal one..popeye's is nicee..i love the fries n chicken...damn full...went to slack at the viewing hall oso...we r like totally high..while ed n hui nan ren toking...hui,mi,xuan n sammie r playin wif the trolleys..sitiing on it..n sammie 'driving 'us ard..noe it looked stupid..but is realli fun to do dat..lol.

blurry pic of us at viewing hall


my new fone cam is clear...so clear till it captures my flaws....



hui came over to our place for a short while...waaah...realli lookin fwd to our CHEAPO outing...hahahhaa

thanks ed for ur bag..i love it......

a emo dae for me totally....

felt ups n downs in my emotions....hahhaa....

mayb is due to ed gg to indo ba...haha..tho is onli 3 daes..yeap..wed till sat nite....but is funny nt to communicate wif  him for like a few daes....wonder wad he is doin nw....

i miss u!!!!!!!

sch is booorrriiinnnggg.....gt wrk to pass up nxt wk..tis sat and nxt thurs...hopefully i can finish up everythin soon...

mayb changing hp tis wk..i nida a new fone anyway!!!!

duno y i hv been slping a lot....nap a lot...i practically slp aniwhr..on the bus..on the train...n i always hope to reach hm faster so dat i can slp..hahhaaa..im becoming a pig sia...hahahaha

juz realise ed n mi haven took fotos together for some time...i nid new fone to tk nice pics..hahahaaa....

felt like putting some of our old pics up...









suddenly miss the old times when both of us r free....can spend more time together n all..guess we realli hv to wrk on our time management ba...more time together!!!!

felt listless todae..super sian n don't wish to do anything mood....

i slpt my whole afternoon away rite aft i come hm frm sch....den is juz eat n watch tv...

felt bad i didnt do any wrk..but i cannot be bothered for todae..i nida ample rest..hahhaaa...frm all of the social activites ba...

shall pia hard tml

i realli nid to improve on my singing..im losing the momentum le....dats bad....

anyway i was listening to a song by elva....wo yao de shi jie...find it realli meaningful...a very encouraging song to keep yourselves from giving up on yourself and continuing what you believe in or your dreams...tho one fails once but we can stand up again and perservere till the end...kinda touched by the lyrics.....hahhaaa

im bored nw....soo i changed my lj skin to a cute one..hahahhaa.....

random thoughts post...

i love my fri sat and sun!!!!!!

fri went crazy shoppin wif hui....went town...both of us bought nice forever 21 tops...lol...hui bought a lot of stuff frm isetan....and me a pair of nice shorts.....we both had fun...den i went over her place..in the end stay over n we had a long gals tok...super long one....im glad we had that...we will support u no matter wad de....no worries hui!!!

i had a nightmare in the nite..the bed is a lil aqueezy...n both of us didnt slp wel..we did sth amzaing...we woke up at 8 plus..n both o  us decided to go get some nice breakfast..it was a spread...total spread...beehoon wif lots of other stuff...soy bean drink,otak and fishball noodle...we  had our fill....both of us felt fat..so we decided to went over to bishan park n walk walk..hahaha....went to play the swing too..i love the swing...mks mi feel carefree again....we walked n walked....felt rel tired aft dat

sat afternoon..aft dressing up n all..went to mit ed at outram..tho me is late..n ed oso nt in veri gd mood...but luckily it turned out well..our date at tea chapter....it wa great...we leannt abt hw to brew chi tea...we ordered dim sum n the tea egg..my fav...haha...is nice to relax thr..all quiet and calm...we played board games 2...cant beleive i win ed in dat duno wad is called game...hehhee....
is a diff kinda outing...i love it...aft dat ate again..im a pig...kolo mee...damn stuffed aft dat....we walked ard central..new shoppin mall at clarke quay for a while...den i went hm le

todae went to the arts centre....overslpt..paiseh le xiuying and yanxin...my fault...hahhaa....is a nice place to listen to ppl sing n sing oso....screwed up todae....urgggh..n i heard wad other ppl ang..felt kinda demoralised.....they r damn gdgdgdgd.....i mus improve..wana be like them...felt like i can learn a lot here

went town aft dat n had lunch..all 3 of us feelin qte sian....n tired todae...we hang ard for a whille den went to tcc at raffles place...the ambiemnce is great..had a second floor that let u sit on the sandbags....i tink...or the floor..realli realxed place...we had coofee n shared wedges...had anopther long gal chat thr...we tok for almost 4 hrs i guesss....n still has topics to tok..women r women...haha...but is realli nice to hang out like dat....

met ed for a while..he send me over..thanks a lot a lot!! realli appreciated dat a lot.....

im gg to miss u a lot.....

rest enuff.....shall pia tis wk...assignments to pass up nxt wk...sian sian sian

Mid exams declared over!!!!

now i gt some time for myself to have fun..looking fwd to tml..hahahaaa hui ar...thanks a lot for helping me wif the sickening blogpost..

due to the fault of my blog...thanks a lot a lot!!!

anyway..due to some technical probs in my blogger..shall put some of the previous pics nxt time...urgggghhhh..... 








juz abit of pics frm baiyugang and en's 21st bdae..shall upload more nxt time...

This is my first test try in lj...feelin kinda weird...n im having lessons nw...

due to my lack of slp..i hv to do sth to mk myself awake...anyway....shall try other functions nxt time...

hope i hv fun using lj